Ticket Discounts Are More Gratifying When They Are Fleeting and Ultra-Specific

LeprechaunWhen we last checked in with the brave and innovative souls of the Lancaster JetHawks‘ ticket department, they had devised a spectacular leap day sale which, among other things, offered discounted ticket packages for the price of $229.08 (2/29/08…get it?).

Well, this endeavor must have been successful, because the club is once again staging a Holiday-related pricing stunt. This weekend, the "O’JetHawks" are offering the following Irish-themed St. Patrick’s Day deals:

— 15% off a 13-game Dugout Section mini-plan, in recognition of the fact that Irish-rock superstars U2 have released 15 albums.

— 11% off a 13-game Box Section mini-plan, in honor of the 11 Championships won by the NotreIrish
Dame Fighting Irish.

— 16% off a 26-game Dugout Section mini-plan, in honor of the Boston Celtics’ 16 NBA Championships.

— 17% off a Box Section Jet Pack, simply because St. Patrick’s Day is on March 17th.

I commend the JetHawks for their ongoing creativity, and would like to suggest a few more discounts that they could have utilized.

— A 3% discount in honor of the number of albums released by Irish rap legends House of Pain.

— A 29% discount, in recognition of the grams of fat in a 7oz serving of corned beef.

— A 14% discount in honor of the alcohol content of Jamesons’ whiskey.

— A 95% discount, in recognition of the number of "Danny Boy" cover versions listed on Wikipedia.

A part of me is tempted to continue this exercise until I become too exhausted to type, but I’ll save masochistic displays of blogging prowess for another day. It’s almost the weekend, after all. Time to wind it down, folks. Time to wind it down.

However, please feel free to leave any of your St. Patty’s-themed discount suggestions in the comments section. The comments section is always open for business.

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