The Second Deadly Sin At An Affordable Price

Ourfills.pngLast week was a memorable one for this blog, as the powerful left-right jab of the Fifth Third Burger and Subtle Butt drew attention from media outlets all over the country.

But, as I have mentioned many times before, I always seek to do things in threes. It is simply the proper way to operate. And the final piece of the puzzle is this:

On Tuesday, May 19, the Reading Phillies will be holding “Gluttony Night“.

“All-You-Can-Eat-Nights” have become commonplace around the Minor Leagues in recenthotdogs.jpg years, and one could certainly argue that these promotions are gluttonous in their own right. But “All-You-Can-Eat-Nights” are usually limited to a special section of the ballpark, and often involve a restricted menu.

“Gluttony Night” is something else entirely. Tell ’em, press release:

For just $12.00 fans can eat as much as they
want from the time the gates open at 5:30 PM until the 7th Inning
Stretch. Hot dogs, French fries, pizza, funnel cake, ice cream and
fountain drinks are all included in a Gluttony Night ticket. 


“Who knows if we’ll ever be able to do this
again,” a somewhat nervous Scott Hunsicker, R-Phils General Manager,
said. “I’m trying to encourage my family and friends to attend this
game. Just in case I get fired over this promotion, I don’t want them to
miss my last game.”


Rob Hackash, the R-Phils’ media relations director, said that “Gluttony Night” was an idea that the team had been kicking around for quite some time now.

“We’re just going to turn people lose; we really don’t know what to expect,” he said. “It could be mayhem, but we feel that are concession stands are well equipped, as is our staff.”

While fans are not limited to how much they can eat, a key provision is this: one item at a time, per person. This will both keep the lines moving and insure against those whose eyes are bigger than their stomachs.

“One person cannot get in line and ask for 100 hot dogs, but they can get in line as much as they want, and eat as much as they want,” said Hackash.

recordbroken.jpgWhen it comes to documenting the history of their 42-year-old franchise, the R-Phils front office staff is nothing if not thorough. The current record for hot dogs consumed in one game is 4,278, but that number could very well be eclipsed on “Gluttony Night.”

“We think that record is going down — as long as the fans don’t fill up on pizza, funnel cake, and french fries,” said Hackash.

‘Gluttony Night’ will most certainly be a taxing night for all ballpark employees, but no one will have to work harder than Andy Bortz, the team’s director of stadium concessions. Unfortunately, however, this key figure has so far been unwilling to discuss the issue publicly. Again, from the press release:

When asked about Gluttony Night, Andy Bortz
, Director of Stadium Concessions, offered a series of grunts and groans that
we’ll take to mean “no comment”.   



  1. rrrt

    Thank goodness they’re not celebrating any of the other “deadly” sins – Lust Night probably wouldn’t be such a good idea! But it would be pretty interesting, I’m sure.
    Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

  2. nwest33

    I’m looking for a team that will do an all-u-can-eat bacon night. Then the next series they’ll do a cholesterol test and see who has the highest wins more bacon or tickets or some free lipitor. I mean, what’s another shameless promotion?

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