A Brief Exploration of Life's Infinite Possibilities
This past offseason, the fledgling Bowling Green baseball club staged a “Name the Team” contest (as new franchises are wont to do).
“Hot Rods” ultimately emerged victorious in a hotly contested fan vote, and that is now the moniker that the club now utilizes. So far, it’s been so good.
But…that hasn’t stopped the dreamers in the club’s front office from wondering “What if?”
What if the fans had instead gravitated toward one of the other choices in the “Name That Team” contest? What if they had had a greater tolerance for outside-the-box thinking, and therefore willing to embrace a far less orthodox option? Specifically, what if the chosen name had been “Cave Shrimp”?
Cave Shrimp was indeed among the list of contenders. Here’s why:
Cave, located near Bowling Green, is home to the endangered Kentucky
Cave Shrimp, a sightless albino shrimp. The blind cave shrimp has been
registered as an endangered species since 1983.“
Apparently, too many fans had reservations when it came to naming their hometown team after a sightless crustacean. History will be the ultimate judge of these anti-shrimp, pro-visibility partisans; to weigh in on the prudence (or lack thereof) of their choice would be premature and needlessly divisive. (My stance on the issue is well documented).
At the very least, the team is giving us all a chance to momentarily revel in a world in which things had turned out differently. August 15 is “What Could’ve Been Night”. From the team’s website:
Remember when someone may have once told you, “If you see a fork in the
road, take it”? What could’ve been had you listened? In Bowling Green
we are going to celebrate “What Could’ve Been” had Cave Shrimp won the
name the team vote. A polarizing name, with people either loving it or
hating it, has inspired the Hot Rods staff to ask you, “What Could’ve
Been?” The first 1,000 fans (13 & up) to the game on August 15 will
get Cave Shrimp t-shirts.
For the record, I wrote a post on January 9 that was remarkably prescient when it comes to the issue of a Cave Shrimp t-shirt giveaway. But enough about me. As part of “What Could’ve Been Night”, the club is soliciting suggestions from fans. More from the Hot Rods’ website:
“What Could’ve Been” if Elvis were still alive? If Columbus didn’t
get on that boat? If baseball had 4 strikes and three balls? If Hot
Rods were Cave Shrimp? Get it? We want to hear from you. This is all in
good natured fun so send us your fun ideas about “What Could’ve Been.”
Send your suggestions to email@example.com
I would suggest that those within my vast cadre of loyal readers take the time to email the team. To get things started, here’s a small list of alternate realities that I would like to see explored:
“What If the early-90s Fox sitcom Get A Life had been a surprise hit, and was now entering its 21st season? What sort of plot arcs would have occurred thus far?”
“How would the Pirates’ fortunes would have changed this decade, had Derek Bell emerged as a Triple Crown contender instead of engaging in “Operation Shutdown“?
“What if Kurt Cobain hadn’t done what he did in 1994, and Nirvana was now entering its third decade as a band?”
“What would have happened if the NHL and NBA had merged into one sport, as it is rumored they considered doing in the late 70s?”
“How much fatter would I be if O’Boises hadn’t been discontinued?” (This query led me to this link. Who knew?)
I’ll cut myself off there. If anyone would like to share their suggestions with me, I’m all ears. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
What if Arnie didn’t come back?
What if Alex P. Keaton was a Democrat?
What if I could believe it was butter?
Sorry – bad, I know.