There are few, if any, things that I like more in this world than the sound repetition device that is alliteration. Examples of it abound here on (ahem) Ben’s Biz Blog, perhaps my favorite being a post titled “Charlie Crist Cancellation Causes Costumed Crustacean Candidacy.” I should have retired immediately after writing that.
But, no, here I remain. My personal predilection for alliteration has led me to peruse 2013 promo schedules for examples of it in bobblehead form, because what better way could an able-bodied 34-year-old man possibly make use of his time?
1. Bowie Baysox — Jim Johnson, July 22
The Bowie Baysox have the honor of leading this post, for they are the only alliteratively-named team giving away an alliterative bobblehead. Their honoree is Bowie-turned-Baltimore pitcher Jim Johnson, who was born in June in the town of Johnson City.
And would you believe in that in addition to the Jim Johnson bobblehead, July 22nd is also “Mutt Monday” at the ballpark? And that the Baysox are playing the Akron Aeros? It’s almost too much too take.
The Gwinnett Braves also get a very special mention in this post, as they are the only team with TWO alliterative bobbleheads on the promo calendar.
2. Gwinnett Braves — Brandon Beachy (April 6) and Freddie Freeman (May 18)
Yes, a Brandon Beachy Braves Bobblehead! It boggles the brain!
And now the rest!
3. Richmond Flying Squirrels — Brandons Bobblehead (Belt and Crawford), April 5
This bobblehead is doubly alliterative in that not only is it a Brandon Bobblehead, but one of the Brandons is Brandon Belt. A Brandon Beachy Braves Bobblehead followed by Brandon Belt, right here on Ben’s Biz Blog. My life’s work is nearly complete.
4. Rome Braves — Henry the Hot Dog, April 20
Will Henry come covered in condiments?
5. Frederick Keys — Manny Machado, May 11
This May a multitude of Manny fans, many men and maybe many more women, will flock to Frederick in order celebrate Monsieur Machado’s manifold splendor.
6. Reno Aces — Brett Butler, May 25
A bounteous booty of Brett Butler bobbleheads bestowed upon Reno’s resplendent residents as a means of creative championship commemoration.
7. Sacramento RiverCats — Chris Carter, June 23
Chris Carter, a Californian, consecrated by the ‘Cats. Cool.
8. Harrisburg Senators — Stephen Strasburg, July 15
It’s Military Monday and the bobblehead is mini. Stephen Strasburg’s scintillating skill set stays sky-high.
9. Clinton LumberKings — Mitch Moreland, August 3
Mitch Moreland matriculated at Mississippi.
10. Memphis Rebirds — BBQ Bobblehead, August 16
Memphis is mum regarding the scintillating specifics of this “BBQ Bobblehead,” but what we do know is that it is taking place during a “Fred’s Family Friday” promotion.
My work here is done.