Information Regarding the Online Insult Prowess of Aquatically-Inclined Felines
In yesterday’s post on the West Michigan Whitecaps, I speculated that their Facebook update in the aftermath of Friday’s stadium fire was the most liked and shared Facebook update in the history of Minor League Baseball. Continuing on this speculative line of social media-centric thought, it is also likely that the most popular tweet in the history of Minor League Baseball occurred just last month.
It all began on Tuesday, December 3, when the Sacramento River Cats sought to fill some offseason down time by engaging fans in an “ask us anything” discussion. This prompted their Pacific Coast League rivals the Reno Aces to posit a somewhat snarky question, and within a quarter hour the River Cats responded in devastating fashion:
.@aces River Cats are aquatically inclined felines with extremely flexible necks, developed from looking down at Reno in the standings.
— River Cats (@RiverCats) December 4, 2013
Oooh, burn! And, as burns are wont to do, it soon spread like wildfire throughout the Twittersphere and then the internet in general. Retweet upon retweet soon inspired a number of regional and national blog posts, amusing innumerable individuals along the way. I expected the Aces, egos bruised, to retort in kind but instead they took a “you’ve won the battle, but not the war” stance and humbly retreated into the background.
The background is where this feud remained, until the River Cats decided to end 2013 by gloating anew.
We asked and you answered. Our #1 tweet of 2013: pic.twitter.com/qxWVOta7GE https://t.co/D9SKF2Nmn8
— River Cats (@RiverCats) December 31, 2013
This time, the Aces couldn’t stay silent.
.@RiverCats sorry, you’ll have to speak up. We can’t hear you over this ringing. pic.twitter.com/3w13ZMdoHk
— Reno Aces (@Aces) December 31, 2013
And on and on it went, a tit for tat diss battle in which no clear winner emerged. Click HERE to read the whole back and forth, but please know that it ended with the Aces’ referencing the “worst bobblehead of all time.”
.@RiverCats you guys are pretty good at researching your own history. / RT @USATODAYsports Worst bobblehead ever: http://t.co/yw14qvsPWY
— Reno Aces (@Aces) December 31, 2013
—
As mentioned, the above Twitter battle gained some notoriety not just within Minor League Baseball but within the sports universe at large. But the River Cats take on all comers, as evidenced by this far-less publicized battle that took place with the Fresno Grizzlies on December 19. This one was started by Parker, the Grizzlies mascot, in response to an innocuous question from a local radio station.
@B95Fresno When @RiverCats don’t clean up after themselves… smh
— Parker B (@TheRealParkerB) December 19, 2013
Oh, Parker, why did you do that? Did you really think you’d get away it? Cue debilitating River Cats comeback in 3…2…1…
Come on, @TheRealParkerB. You and the @FresnoGrizzlies know better than anyone how much sweeping we do every season.
— River Cats (@RiverCats) December 19, 2013
Parker’s ensuing retort wasn’t much to speak of (Sorry Parker, just keepin’ it real), but the Grizzlies jumped in with a parting shot. The lesson here is: when beefing with the Sacramento River Cats on Twitter, and at a loss for words, simply mention “the worst bobblehead of all time.”
@RiverCats Yea, we know 😦 BTW, what hand does Barry Zito sweep with? pic.twitter.com/SB2FK8Gy9q
— Fresno Grizzlies (@FresnoGrizzlies) December 19, 2013
—
At the end of the day, Twitter wars are stupid. But aren’t most things? And Twitter wars are not only stupid, they’re entertaining as well. So I guess what I’m saying is this: if you’re a Minor League Baseball team, go ahead and tweet something insulting at one of your league rivals. I’ll be glad you did.
benjamin.hill@mlb.com
twitter.com/bensbiz
Ben's Biz Blog 
Go Rivercats! Best teeth in the AAA!