Last week I took a break from the typical sort of blog content, eschewing the ever-present “now” in favor of planning for the future. And indeed, your input is still very much desired regarding that particular tri-fecta of posts:
— Send me headshots! (Seriously, the response to this thus far has been tepid at best. My writerly ego, so fragile to begin with, is in danger of suffering irreparable damage. Here’s some inspiration for ya:
But that was then, so now it’s time to look at what was then now. Or, rather, was now then. Capiche? Me neither.
The Yankees’ Empire State of Mind is due to the fact that the team will be playing “on ze road” throughout the 2012 season, with the majority of the ballgames being hosted by the Rochester Red Wings (the team is also playing “home” games in the Empire State locales of Batavia, Buffalo, and Syracuse). This less than ideal situation is because the team’s PNC Field is undergoing an extensive $40 million renovation, rendering the field unplayable.
Or is it? The renovations have yet to begin, as the team’s scheduled sale to Mandalay Baseball has yet to go through. More on all that, as well as the mild controversy behind the Empire State Yankees name, can be found HERE.
And, hey, since we’re on the new logo tip now would be a good time to show the San Jose Giants’ recently unveiled 25th anniversary mark. Your life will never be the same:
And now for yet another logo, of sorts: The Reno Aces have continued their St. Patty’s day tradition, by releasing an Irish-themed limited edition t-shirt.
On St. Patty’s Day the team should drop the “Ren” from their name and simply go by the name “O’Aces.” Although, come to think of it, that might result in a lawsuit from the Gallagher bros.
Meanwhile, I’ve been spending a lot of my “down” time here at the office in the tedious but worthwhile task of compiling (via spreadsheet) 2012 promos of note. Some interesting stuff pops up sometimes, such as this offering from the Portland Sea Dogs:
April 15: Tax Day/Headstone Giveaway
Sez the team: There are only two guarantees in life: death and taxes. Therefore the Sea Dogs have partnered with Jones, Rich, and Hutchins to giveaway a headstone to one fan.
I like it! We as a society need to spend more time contemplating (and therefore overcoming our fear of) the sheer inevitability of death. While a “Salute to Mortality” theme night is a long way off, the Sea Dogs are at least moving the conversation in the right direction.
There are a lot of interesting Minor League promotions scheduled to take place during the first week of the season, from 3D Videoboards to chicken-selling hip-hop stars to the immortalization of snowman decimation.
But to me, the promotion that stands out the most is the one that’s trying to stand out the least. For on April 11, the West Michigan Whitecaps will be celebrating the 57th Anniversary of the “Most Boring Day in History.”
This soporific salute was inspired by the NPR show All Things Considered, but not merely the existence of the show itself. In a segment that aired this past November, co-host Robert Siegel interviewed computer scientist William Tunstall-Pedoe on the latter’s non-explosive assertion that April 11, 1954 was the least significant day of the 20th century (Tunstall-Pedoe had reached this conclusion after conducting a query through the “True Knowledge” search engine he had invented).
This was all the Whitecaps needed to hear, as the club set about planning a tedious tribute to the 57th anniversary of history’s most boring day. According to Whitecaps director of media relations Mickey Graham, interminable innovations on this most monotonous of Mondays will include the following:
Fans will not be asked to sit on the edge of their seats (that’s too dangerous)
Our on-field host, whose day job is a high school math teacher, will lead the fans in solving math problems
The Dizzy Bat Race will be the leisurely ‘Walk to Second Base Race’ – no spinning, falling down or running allowed.
Our ball toss will become a ball handout
Batters will be announced in a monotone “Ben Stein” voice
Fans will be encouraged to “watch the grass grow” as the game progresses
Our IT manager will present to the fans a tutorial on how to properly use your desk phone
We will paint a wall before the game and give everyone the opportunity to watch the paint dry
Boring movie clips will be shown throughout the game on the video board
Elevator music will be played over the PA system
Thank goodness that all this boredom will be balanced out by nine innings of cold-weather Class A baseball on a Monday night! And if even that somehow fails to inspire, then fans can up the excitement by indulging in the Whitecaps’ super-exciting new concession stand addition:
It’s gonna be a long evening…