Tagged: armadillo racing

Mundane Beginnings, Incendiary Endings

This is me, in Inland Empire, dressed as a Molar Racer.

The reason I’m showing this picture is because it features my Sony Webbie camera, which has accompanied me on all road trips that I’ve ever undertaken while under the employ of MiLB.com.

We’ve been through a lot, Webbie and I, but I’m now ready to end our relationship. I have become increasingly disheartened with the quality of the photos, especially if movement and/or low lighting is involved. It’s time for an upgrade, but to what?

Does anyone out there have any recommendations? I need something lightweight, easy-to-use, durable, (relatively) cheap, and capable of taking photos worthy of appearing on the number one Minor League Baseball promotions/game operations/travel blog on the internet (I mean, if it’d be good enough for them then it would be good enough for Ben’s Biz Blog.)

Soon to enter retirement...

I know that many of my readers are far more tech-savvy than I, so let’s hear it! What should be the next Ben’s Biz Blog camera of choice?

Technologically-minded endeavors certainly have their place, but it’s the simple pleasures that what make life worth living. And pleasures don’t get much simpler than that which was covered in Monday’s post: armadillo racing.

Upon seeing said post, one of my embedded contacts within the Tulsa Drillers front office sent the following photos. Apparently, Sparky Sparks and his team of racing armadillos are regular ballpark visitors.

Ready for action

Armadillo Racing: The Cowboy Monkey Rodeo of 2012?

Armadillo racing is undoubtedly thrilling, but not quite as thrilling as stuntman Ted Batchelor. The last time that Batchelor appeared at a Minor League ballpark was 2009, when he ran the bases while on fire following a Savannah Sand Gnats game. 

Batchelor, who recently set a Guinness World Record for longest “on fire run” (492 feet), wrote me to report that he has one team booked in 2012 (I’ll let that team make the announcement) but that he “needs many more!” (This is, after all, a man with a stated goal of getting lit on fire in all 50 states.) Check out his website for more info.

But while lighting a man on fire is still a relatively rare occurrence in the Minor Leagues, fireworks are about as common as it gets. And what better way to promote an increased fireworks slate than with a parody of the song “Fireworks”? Take it away, Akron Aeros!

Perry-dy is more like it!



Lost in Gala-la Land

After three days of diligent Winter Meetings coverage, I was ready for a party. A Gala, even.

And wouldn’t you know it? That’s just what I got.  On Wednesday evening a vast legion of buses cued up outside the Jade Entrance of the Hilton Anatole hotel in order to transport all manner of Minor League personnel to the annual Winter Meetings Gala.

We arrived at the Gala under the cover of darkness, and it took me a while to figure out where we were. After entering through a narrow side entrance, I aimlessly wandered through this mysterious facility’s labyrinthian corridors until coming across a particularly well-lit area.

Overcoming considerable feelings of trepidation, I cautiously navigated the above pathway until it opened up into the following tableau.

Oh, so it was a baseball stadium we were at, was it? I guess I could have seen that one coming. But what stadium? The brobdingnagian dimensions seemed to indicate a Major League facility, but since I’d fallen asleep on the bus I had no idea how long we’d traveled to get here. The lack of a roof, retractable or otherwise, ruled out the likes of Houston, Seattle, Phoenix, Toronto, and Milwaukee, but all else was fair game.

Eager to get to the bottom of this conundrum, I went in search of context clues.

This outfield sign didn’t help matters. I’ve been to ballparks throughout this great land, and one of the few constants are billboards in which a desperate species targeted for mass slaughter tries to appease their carnivorous overlords by advocating for the mass slaughter of a different species.

But wait! This avian murder-promoting bovine is wearing a Texas Rangers cap! Could it be that I was at none other than Rangers ballpark? A search for more clues seemed to validate this assumption.

Texas-sized prices!

The solitary lasso-wielding young men on the concourse were certainly Lone Stars.

But what finally convinced me that I was in Arlington was coming across this cup, which commemorates the unforgettable ALCS  match-up between the Rangers and their eternal rivals the Boston Red Sox.

The next question to flicker through my mind was just as pressing: Where is everyone? Save for solitary lasso-ers, the place was deserted. If a mechanical bull is in the stadium, but no one is there to ride it, then does it make a buck?

After much hypothermia-inducing wandering,  I came across a cluster of industry executives staring toward the ground with intent focus.

There’s one thing, and one thing only, that could command that sort of rapt attention: Armadillo Racing!

Armadillo Racing: The Cowboy Monkey Rodeo of 2012?

Unfortunately that’s the best picture of the armadillos that I could muster, as my camera is morally adverse to any photographic attempt involving movement. But, yes, to reiterate: the 2011 Baseball Winter Meetings Gala featured Armadillo Racing as entertainment.

But in life, as in the dictionary, alcohol comes before armadillos. There were even more folks gathered at the upstairs Jose Cuervo Club.

With the location of my whereabouts finally ascertained and my heart therefore unencumbered, I went on a wandering spree.

Celebrity Guests

View from the press box

Control Freaks

But soon enough it came time to re-board the buses and head back to the Hilton Anatole. The following signs were up in the lobby, signifying an end to yet another industry confab.

Yeah, well, we'll see about that