Perhaps this explains why the Altoona Curve have made national headlines today, after a bizarre incident at Blair County Ballpark last night. After sneaking into the stadium via a parking garage, an intoxicated homeless man wandered across the outfield during the bottom of the ninth inning of a contest between the Curve and Akron Aeros.
The man, who lacked identification but gave his name as “Tyrone R. Squires”, was detained by Curve security without incident and then turned over to Altoona police. A detailed write-up of Squires’ misadventures appeared in today’s edition of The Altoona Mirror, and this account served as the basis of an Associated Press article that has been picked up by The New York Times among other outlets.
Curve media relations director Dan Zangrilli said the team was a bit perplexed over the national attention.
“It wasn’t that big a deal, quite honestly. It was just a guy who decided to take a little cruise along the warning track,” he said. “The whole thing was uneventful, and posed no threat to players or fans. That said, we do take this kind of thing seriously. Trespassing is a serious offense, and we turned him over to the authorities.”
But right now the team has bigger issues on its mind: preserved meat products. Tonight’s Wacky Wednesday promotion at Blair County Ballpark is “Livin La Vida Lunch Meat”, a comprehensive salute to all things meaty that received a write-up in the most recent edition of “Promotion Preview.”
“It’s all about the Braunschweiger, baby,” said Zangrilli.
— I hope to continue yesterday’s classification-based post in the near future, but for now I’ll dispense with such formalities in order to share a couple of most-interesting Minor League developments.
The Brooklyn Cyclones have released a sketch of what is sure to be one of 2010’s most-sought after bobbleheads: Mets rookie sensation (and former Cyclone) Ike Davis in the midst of one of his now trademark dugout-tumbling snags:
The giveaway is on August 2, distributed to the first 2500 fans — get your tickets now and arrive early.
In other intriguing bobblehead news, the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers have announced the finalists for September’s “Fan’s Choice” bobble.
In my mind, the choice that stands out above the rest is “Scooter Vs. the Snowman”, commemorating a particularly memorable moment that occurred during the club’s whitewashed Opening Day.
Finally, I wanted to share this video I received from the Memphis Redbirds, featuring a Baby T-Rex throwing out the first pitch. It’s going to be a long time before I tire of watching this:
The Baby T-Rex is scheduled to make its next appearance in Reading on May 25, once again throwing out the first pitch and then spending the remainder of the game ambling through the stadium. This will allow fans plenty of time to contemplate the genetic links between dinosaurs and the Crazy Hot Dog Vendor’s loyal ostrich:
Just in case there is still any confusion: The two items detailed in yesterday’s post were both April Fool’s pranks. The Lowell Spinners will NOT be giving away Yankee bobbleheads this season, and suspended University of Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli will NOT be suiting up for the Eugene Emeralds.
If you were fooled by either of these stories, then take solace in the fact that you are not alone.
The Emeralds’ Masoli prank ignited no small amount of controversy. The team sent its press release out at 10:40 p.m. on March 31st, and all three local newscasts reported the story on their 11 p.m. broadcasts.
This triumvirate of tricked televisors are less than pleased. KEZI currently has a story up on their website with the blunt headline of “Eugene Emeralds Lie About Masoli Playing For the Ems.” From the corresponding story, written by an irrationally furious Michelle Dapper (who goes on to refer to herself in the third person):
“For obvious reasons, we here at KEZI were skeptical, so KEZI sports director Michelle Dapper called and asked it was an April Fool’s joke. The PR spokesperson said no….When we asked the team’s general manager on Thursday why they would lie about an April Fool’s joke when called on it, he said ‘If we had told the truth, it wouldn’t have gotten any play.'”
KMTR took a far more jovial tone, remarking that the Ems’ joke “Swung for the fences and hit a home run.” Meanwhile, the local Register Guard newspaper has written up a thorough postmortem on Masoli-gate, which includes the ominous quote:
“It’s a major breach of trust between local media and a professional
sports team,” KVAL news director Jenny Kuglin said. “I think it will
affect how we treat information we receive from the Ems in the future.”
Regardless of how one feels about the appropriateness of the joke, such reactions might make other teams think twice before pulling such stunts. But for my money, the wisest (and funniest) reaction came from University of Oregon coach Chip Kelly, who could not have cared less about the Emeralds’ shenanigans:
The above video is part of an entertaining article on the matter that also includes an interview with Ems director of media relations Onalee Carson. Check it out HERE.
Spinners media relations director Jon Boswell had to deal with a large number of aggravated and/or confused fans, writing the following in an email:
“We’ll do just about anything to steal some thunder from our full-season brethren on the eves of their opening days. I received a few angry responses, including one anonymous gentleman who left a voicemail simply stating ‘Bucky bleeping Dent…Take your head out of your bleeping [posterior].'”
Boswell went on write that “aside from the mixed results on Facebook, including one
fan who couldn’t understand why we would select Yankee ‘scrubs who had caused so much pain and suffering to Red Sox fans’…most people found the humor in the promotion.“
One entity that found humor in the promotion was the mighty Associated Press, who picked up the story and distributed it nationally. This marks the second time this offseason that the Spinners haven’t gotten play via the AP, showing that the club is well ahead of the curve when it comes to cracking the mystical code that determines what Minor League items get coverage and which don’t.
Regardless, now that April Fool’s is out of the way we can all once again concentrate on serious news. You know, the things that really matter, like pickle dogs, 63-year-old players, and scantily-clad bobbleheads. And thank goodness for that.