We are born alone, and die alone. And often, as the case may be, we spend Valentine’s Day alone. Fortunately, at least two Minor League teams expanded their traditional Valentine’s Day offers to include those unencumbered by an actual relationship.
The Charleston RiverDogs’ “Lonely Hearts Package” is a mere $18, and includes an upper reserve ticket, frozen dinner, and pint of ice cream. It will be delivered by this sympathetic soul.
Or, perhaps a flying groundhog would be more to your liking? If so, then get thee to Gwinnett, interested singles:
The G-Braves’ identically-named “Lonely Hearts” package includes a ticket to May 14’s “Singles Mingle” night, as well “as vouchers for a box of Nestlé Drumstick® Ice-cream courtesy of Edy’s and a frozen TV Dinner.”
I wondered what kind of “reception” these TV dinner offers had been getting, and if teams had been dealing in the “volume” expected. In response to a Twitter inquiry, the RiverDogs reported that There were a decent amount of Lonely Hearts. @ThePigglyWiggly got a lot of business in the Hungry Man frozen dinner area from us.
As for what “decent” entails, I have no idea. I’m going to guess somewhere between eight and 4,400.
In keeping with the contrarian Valentine’s Day theme, let’s now move on to the world of logos. This is, after all, a word that in Jungian psychology means “the principal of reason and judgement.” Not very love-like at all!
Today’s logo of choice comes courtesy of the Lake County Captains. But perhaps the club should change it’s name to the “CapTens”:
If you think anniversary logos are for the birds, that’s cool. But you know who else should be for the ‘Birds? You. Here’s why:
The Delmarva Shorebirds, class “A” affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles, are excited to announce the launch of a brand new campaign leading up to the home opener on April 12 designed to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters. The Shorebirds will donate one dollar per new Facebook ‘Like’ from now through April 11 to Big Brothers Big Sisters.
The goal of the initiative is to donate a maximum of $1,400 to Big Brothers Big Sisters by growing the Shorebirds Facebook fan page to over 10,000 likes.
So go ahead and give ’em a like. Right HERE.
And speaking (again) of being for the birds, how about this visual out of Des Moines? The Iowa Cubs sure know how to play to their audience:
Also playing to their audience: the Fort Wayne TinCaps. The team launched it’s “All About You” sweepstakes last week, and it’s chock-a-block with great prizes. But one prize, in particular, towers above the rest.
Yes, a life-size bobblehead! Forget mummification, taxidermy, cryogenics and afterlife-based belief systems. Grotesquely-sized ceramic statues featuring crazily disproportionate bodily dimensions are how one achieves true immortality.
This has been post #768 of the greatest Minor League Baseball blog of all time.
In the previous post on this blog, I mentioned my willingness to feature new logos. But like any good internet survivalist, I can make do with less than that.
Today, my biggest piece of news involves a team’s intent to soon unveil a new logo. That team would be the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, who will be releasing three new marks to the public on November 12.
In order to whip said public into an anticipatory frenzy, the Rattlers are releasing a series of countdown videos. Rarely has the inexorable passage of time been so exciting:
In tandem with the above video, T-Rats broadcaster Chris Mehring has written a column detailing the last time the team changed their identity. The year was 1994, and this name and logo was apparently in the running.
The Fox River Phantoms, represented by what appears to be a homicidal umpire:
At the very least, the insensate arbiter depicted above would make for a good horror movie character. His dispassionate but unstoppable pursuit of his victims would culminate in a coldhearted bat bludgeoning, one bringing new meaning to the phrase “Three strikes and you’re out.”
Sticking with the horror theme, the Trenton Thunder have dusted off a video that purports to reveal a ghostly presence emanating from the innards of Waterfront Park:
In considerably less horrifying news, the State College Spikes will soon be announcing the winner to their inaugural “Ike’s Wacky Weekly What Are They Saying Moment?” The fan who provides the funniest caption to this photograph wins a team-autographed baseball.
Finally, it’s time for another installment of Gratuitous Video Friday, the least anticipated feature of the internet’s least-commented upon blog.
This video features the rap stylings of one of the most deeply eccentric sports broadcasters of all time. “Sister Sledge can fall off a ledge!”