Tagged: false modesty

Headed In A New Direction

headshot_snowglobewombacher.JPGA couple of weeks ago, I asked my vast cadre of loyal readers to assist me in a most important task — the creation of a new blog head shot.

The response to this request was robust, which I very much appreciate. Still, I have put off sharing the submissions because I am wary of seeming narcissistic. Usually, I hide this off-putting trait beneath a cloud of false modesty and groan-inducing wordplay.

But the moment for action is now. What follows are some of the new profile pics I now have at my disposal.

Boomer and Me — Spending some quality time with the Williamsport Crosscutters’ inimitable mascot:



All-Seeing Seer of the Scene


Flippin’ Out:


A Classic Updated for Modern Times


Fair Condition

The Worst Player in Yakima History


Mona Lisa Was A Man


Grating American Zero

Pasta My Prime




On My Way to the Barber Pole Factory


Attired Out




It Was Just A Phase


You Can Do What You Wanna Do…


I plan on using all of these headshots — and more — throughout the season. But, starting tomorrow, my identity will be this:


What can I say? To see my face juxtaposed onto a Weird Al album cover is a dream come true.

Thanks to Chris McConney of the Reading Phillies for the Weird Al shot, also big thanks to:

Sarah Budd, Williamsport Cross
cutters (shots 1-2), Danny Wild, MiLB photo guru (3-5), Lauren Wombacher, Yakima Bears (6-7 and snowglobe), Cameron Wengrzyn, Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (8-13), Jake Goldman, Astoria Astroplaneteers (14), Allison Moore, Greensboro Grasshoppers (15), and Robert Peters (16).

Feel free to keep sending ’em and thanks again. I really appreciate it.


Shamelessness Begets Shamelessness

Kannapolis_Intimidators.PNGDespite my compulsive tendency toward self-deprecation, I am, like most human beings, exceedingly narcissistic. So when the Kannapolis Intimidators recently put together a blog post entitled “Hey Ben Hill“, I couldn’t help but be intrigued.

Here’s how the post begins:

Hey Ben Hill!

Is this a shameless cry for attention? Here at the Kannapolis Intimidators, we just want to feel loved.

feel like David Letterman, when he tried tirelessly to have the great
Oprah on his show, but we would love to have Ben Hill of Ben’s Biz
Blog to mention us on his blog, or better yet, visit us in Kannapolis!

Well, Intimidators, consider yourselves mentioned. And I would like to visit, but first I must ensure that you are able to meet my exacting travel specifications. I’ll have my business manager fax over a copy of my rider and we can proceed from there.

But for now, I’ll spend some time writing about the first-rate organization that is the KannapolisDale_Earnhardt_visits_Langley_AFB.jpg Intimidators — the only team in Minor
League Baseball named after a race car driver. Dale “The
Intimidator” Earnhardt purchased a
stake in the team in 2000, one year before his tragic death in the 2001 Daytona 500.

In the Intimidator’s “Hey Ben Hill” blog post, they helpfully provided me with a couple of topics to write about:

The Build-A-Burger Contest: Have you ever wanted to create your own sandwich and have it named
after you? Well, the Kannapolis Intimidators are giving you that chance
with their Build-A-Burger Contest! Fans will be allowed to submit their
ideas for a new hamburger or cheeseburger with the winning entry being
put on the menu of the Double Play Café for the 2010 season at
Fieldcrest Cannon Stadium. The winner will also receive a prize
package, in-game recognition and 70 games of bragging rights.

My suggestion is the Ben’s Biz Burger: a 1/4 pound of ground beef topped with a fried egg, monterey jack cheese, cole slaw, bacon, fried onions, and jalapenos. Does that sound good? It was an exercise in free association, but now I kind of want one.

Comical Videos: Count the Intimidators as one of many teams that have recently tried their hand at humorous offseason videos. YouTube will never be the same. 

So let this be a lesson to all teams: I am a weak man, and easily bribed.