Those with memories exceeding that of a pigeon will recall that two weeks ago the Peoria Chiefs generated a firestorm of national media attention with their “LeBron James Replica Championship Ring Giveaway.”
The joke, of course, was that fans would receive nothing at all.
But giving away “Nothing” is harder than it looks, an endeavor that opens a jumbo-sized philosophical can of worms. The Chiefs dealt with the issue by setting up a display on the concourse and asking fans to imagine what could have been.
Following three photos: Dennis Sievers, Peoria Chiefs
As you can imagine, such a detailed promotion requires the full teamwork of the entire staff. Congrats, guys, for making something out of nothing.
The Chiefs’ promo (chronicled HERE by a local news station) was the harshest attack on LBJ since the 1964 presidential campaign, so let us now lighten the mood and let love in.
On June 17, the Richmond Flying Squirrels took the now familiar “Diamond Dig” promotion to the next level. Director of community relations and promotions Christina Shisler writes:
We hid four rings, three single-knot 14 karat white, yellow and rose gold promise rings showcasing two petite diamonds each, retailing at $451….And then our big prize was a petite estate diamond ring – half a carat, in a beautiful 18 karat yellow gold setting, retailing at $1,895!
The Diamond Ring was the third one found and when the lady found it, her then boyfriend (and a minute later fiancé!) ran onto the field, got down on one knee and proposed right there on the spot that she found the ring in the dirt.
This is the most adorable in-stadium proposal since Broccoli got down on one knee in Reading last season.
And speaking of Reading, earlier this month thousands of fans arrived at the ballpark early…
in order to receive this:
But the splendor of the Cole Hamels Garden Gnome pales in comparison to the R-Phils’ latest dessert offering:
Very few things are as quintessentially American as eating 24 scoops of Sour Patch Kids-bedecked ice cream out of a full-size batting helmet at a Minor League Baseball game. Except, you know, actually becoming an American at a Minor League Baseball game. I covered the Toledo Mud Hens’ Naturalization Ceremony on my most recent road trip, and was quickly reminded that the Hens aren’t the only team that have staged such an event.
The Memphis Redbirds hosted a Naturalization Ceremony last July 4th, and are planning on doing so this year as well.
May your children, and your children’s children, enjoy a life of miniature garden gnomes, buried diamonds within diamonds, and satirical celebrations of professional basketball failure.
“So many blog topics, so little time” is shaping up to be a pretty good tombstone epitaph for yours truly. But as long as I’m residing in the land of the living, Sisyphean struggles to mitigate the content glut will continue unabated. So here ya go: a random array of Minor League pictures and videos.
Let’s start with the scene in Reading this past Tuesday. Despite a bit of controversy, the R-Phils’ fan base proffered a heartily enthusiastic response to the evening’s “Ryan Howard Garden Gnome” giveaway.
The line outside of FirstEnergy Stadium, before the gates opened.
The gnomes, awaiting distribution:
Moving on from beards to the mustache, the Everett Aquasox pitching staff recently dedicated themselves to the fervent cultivation of upper lip hair. The results, in extreme close-up:
Another recent event of note in the Pacific Northwest was the pitcher’s mound wedding of hurler Corey Davisson. Read all about it HERE. (warning:adorable photos contained therein).
Less adorable, but more hilarious, are Class A baseball players dancing with surprising sincerity to the Clinton era’s pre-eminent boy band. This masterpiece was the highlight of the Peoria Chiefs’ recent “90s Night” promotion:
While this was the lowlight:
A pop culture celebration of more recent vintage recently occurred in Lexington, as the Legends staged a “Jersey Shore Night” promotion. The beat got beat up:
But after the beat-up comes the beatdown. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan visited Hickory recently, where he did all he could to make sure that Conrad didn’t win the mascot race. A truly brilliant snapshot, this is:
But even Hacksaw wouldn’t be able to stop the menagerie of characters that grace the cover of the Toledo Mud Hens upcoming comic book giveaway (scheduled for August 12). This is, truly, a work of art:
Or is there?