It can be tough to stand out within this oversaturated media landscape that we all find ourselves immersed in, but Minor League teams have become particularly adept at doing just this via the tried and true tradition of riffing on newsworthy events. In this post, please find a few offseason examples of relatively recent vintage.

Please!

Inland Empire 66ers —  Farewell to Twinkies Night

In the wake of the news that Hostess was shutting down its operations, the 66ers leaped into action and secured 1000 Twinkies before they disappeared from the shelves. With snack cakes secured, they then announced that April 5 will be “Farewell to Twinkies Night.” Per the team:

The first 999 fans in attendance will receive a free Twinkie; however there will be a silent auction for the final Twinkie to be awarded during the seventh inning stretch with proceeds going to charity.

But, of course, that’s not all:

The organization has also extended an offer to actor Woody Harrelson, who in 2009, starred as the Twinkie obsessed Tallahassee in the zombie comedy, Zombieland, to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. Beyond the invitation to Harrelson, the 66ers have also contacted Hostess about featuring Twinkie the Kid, Hostess’s well known mascot, in the Mascot Dash vs. the team’s own Bernie.

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Hickory Crawdads — The Mayans Got It Wrong

In the wake of the world continuing on as usual post 12/21/12, the Crawdads decided that a ticket-related celebration was in order. Explained the team:

Being as we’re jubilant with relief that the earth is still spinning, the ‘Dads are offering all fans FREE Grandstand Tickets for The Mayans Got it Wrong Night on April 8.

“As part of last year’s May Mayan Mayhem promotion, we were prepared to give everyone a free season ticket for life if the world did end today,” said Crawdads Director of Promotions Jared Weymier. “But we think free tickets on April 8 AND the world not ending is a pretty good combination!”

The Crawdads are also to be commended for this out-of-left-field press release, issued in the wake of the news that New York Jets superfan Fireman Ed was retiring from going to games.

In light of former New York Jets Superfan Ed “Fireman Ed” Anzalone declaring this week that he will retire from going to Jets games, the Hickory Crawdads are formally inviting him to become the new Official Superfan of the Crawdads.

Fireman Ed cited increasing confrontations with other Jets fans at Metlife Stadium as the reason why he is retiring from attending Jets games and leading their faithful in his renowned “J-E-T-S, Jets Jets Jets” chant. With the family-friendly atmosphere at Crawdads games, as well as the ‘Dads long-standing appreciation of firemen and all emergency responders, L.P. Frans Stadium is the perfect location for Ed to retire.

As part of becoming the Official Superfan of the Crawdads, the ‘Dads are offering Fireman Ed a free season ticket and parking pass for life, a customized Crawdads fireman’s hat and a personalized Crawdads jersey that no one will ever negatively confront him for wearing. Fireman Ed will have free reign to lead Crawdads fans in whatever chant he chooses – after all, “D-A-D-S, Dads Dads Dads” has a good ring to it!

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Finally, we have this press release masterpiece from the Myrtle Beach Pelicans, in which they wax indignant about New Orleans’ basketball team “copying” their name.

I’m just going to go ahead and drop a massive chunk of cut and pasted text right here. Myrtle Beach earned it with this one:

Inspired by the mind-numbing creativity shown by the NBA’s New Orleans franchise in recently announcing a surprise and out-of-left field (pun intended) name change from Hornets to Pelicans, Minor League Baseball’s Myrtle Beach (S.C.) Pelicans, the Advanced Class-A affiliate of the Texas Rangers, are asking their fans to consider a sweeping re-branding and promotional effort, effective for the 2013 Carolina League season.

The re-branding and promotional plan would not only pay homage to everything New Orleans, but would provide Minor League Baseball fans from the Grand Strand an opportunity not extended to basketball fans in Louisiana — participating in selecting the team’s new nickname. Using the same level of out-of-the-box thinking used by the Hornets, nickname choices have been narrowed to Saints, Hornets, Jazz, Bayou Bengals, Ragin’ Cajuns and Voodoo, along with any other current or former sports nickname the club could poach from the Bayou State.

The re-branding plan has already affected the team’s organizational structure. Current General Manager Scott Brown, the reigning Carolina League Executive of the Year, is so inspired by the idea that he has decided to re-trace the Hornets past history and move he and his family to Charlotte, North Carolina, where he will become the General Manager of that city’s Triple-A franchise. The Hornets called Charlotte home from 1988-2002.

If fans select choose to drop the Pelicans name in favor of a New Orleans-themed moniker, the club will institute of a series of NOLA-themed promotions and ballpark changes to complement the club’s new brand:

• The team’s home ballpark would be renamed “TicketReturn.com Field at Preservation Hall”
• Areas of the ballpark would also be re-branded. The pond in the parking lot would be called “Lake Pontchartrain”, while patrons entering ballpark restroom facilities would be taking their personal business to the “French Quarter”
• The club would petition city and county officials to rename streets and landmarks around the area. 21st Avenue North, which runs along the ballpark, would be called “St. Charles Avenue,” Broadway at the Beach, Myrtle Beach’s entertainment hot spot, would become “Bourbon Street,” and, boldy, the team would call its home county “Horry Parrish.”
• The logo of the new team name would include a fleur de lis, much in the same fashion as the current logo, which incorporates a crescent-shaped moon in the background.
• A different NOLA-themed promotion for every day of the week would be incorporated. The lineup would feature Mardi Gras Mondays, Fat Tuesdays, Wet Wednesdays (featuring 1/2 price hurricane drinks), Thirsty Thursday (featuring Creole Bloody Marys), Big Easy Fridays (featuring the music of Al Hirt, Louis Armstrong, Aaron Neville and other New Orleans legends), Sazerac Saturdays and Voodoo Sundays (Details currently under development).
• The team’s game night entertainment would also reflect the newly-created team image. The club’s entertainment staff would be known as the “Promotional Krewe”, jazz music would serve as player at-bat songs, legendary political strategist James Carville would be invited to serve as one of the team’s radio announcers, and the playing of the Smokey and the Bandit theme song during the 7th Inning Stretch would be replaced by “When the Saints Go Marching In.”
• Saints quarterback Drew Brees would be invited to toss out the ceremonial first pitch of the 2013 season and a season-long “Superdome” promotion would be instituted, providing ticket discounts to anyone with a “bald dome.”
• TicketReturn.com Field at Preservation Hall concession stands would offer traditional New Orleans foods such as poboys, crawfish, jambalaya and gumbo with classic side dishes such as red beans and rice.
• Team merchandise would obviously include team beads, as well as NOLA-themed t-shirts, and plush dolls of mascot Splash would be turned into Voodoo dolls

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If you are aware of other teams displaying a similarly Peli-can do spirit, then get in touch.

This has been Ben’s Biz Blog post #900 — here’s to more, but hopefully not 900 more. That would be overkill.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com

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