Well, it happened: On Friday night, 46-year-old memoirist Jose Canseco took on 60-year-old ex-baseball coach Gary Hogan in a pre-game boxing match in Little Rock.
Twilight fever is sweeping Minor League ballparks across the land, as teams from Binghamton to Toledo to St. Lucie to Fresno and beyond salute the 21st-century’s pre-eminent supernatural romance franchise.
The above sentence is not only an example of the sort of hacky ledes I try to stay away from these days. It is also factually inaccurate, as what I really mean to say is this: Twilight fever is sweeping America, and Minor League teams are capitalizing on this melodramatic pandemic by staging theme nights in its honor.
Because Minor League promotions do not create pop culture trends. Rather, they react to them, holding a Fun House mirror up to the zeitgeist. And Twilight is merely the latest phenomenon to get the Minor League treatment, one in an endless line of endlessly exploitable ephemeral diversions. Before long, the industry’s movers and shakers will make like the Foo Fighters and be “done, done, and…on to the next one.”
Alright, that’s enough needless pontificating. I was just trying to justify my existence, because the Fresno Grizzlies have created a video recap of their Twilight promo night that renders me, the blogger, meaningless. Said video provides a thorough and entertaining trip through the evening’s many highlights, leaving me with nothing to explain or contextualize.
I have seen the future, and that is that I no longer have one. Behold a classic in the nascent field of video promo explanation:
And then there’s this, which is just Nuts:
Finally, I’d like to draw your attention to THIS ARTICLE that appeared on MiLB.com yesterday. Jose Canseco will be fighting a 60-year-old man prior to an Arkansas Travelers game.