One of my biggest tasks on Mondays during the season is to put off writing my “Promotion Preview” column for as long as possible. So, I might as well write a blog post. That will delay the inevitable for at least a little while longer.
Stress-Free Night, July 22
The Barons recently hosted the Southern League All-Star Game, a
grueling and high-anxiety task. The club is now in its first homestand
since that overwhelming event, so to recuperate they’re staging
“Stress-Free Night.” Students from nearby Virginia College will be on
hand to give massages [and] “Nature Scape” and
“Pure Mood” sounds will be played over the PA…Rumor has it that an Epsom Salt giveaway is also in
the works, but as of press time this crucial nugget of information
could not be confirmed with 100 percent certainty.
So, was “Stress-Free Night” really and truly stress-free? Not exactly, according to Barons director of group ticket sales Brad Hudson:
Rain was in the area and we pulled tarp several times; we had a new PA announcer, our first pitcher showed up 20 minutes late and our mic died IMMEDIATELY before the anthem. All that said, we still played ball and had a wonderful time! The entire stadium sounded like a Crystal Light commercial and people really embraced it.
I’m not sure if this is the Crystal Light commercial the ballpark sounded like, but I’m going to post it anyway because conceptually it is quite brilliant:
But back to the matter at hand — Epsom Salts were indeed given away at the stadium, and for proof I direct you to a photo which includes both a team employee and a bag of epsom salts:
Now that that’s settled, let’s move on to something even more visually interesting. Mascot massage!
A photo of the year contender right here, folks:
Send me photos of YOUR Minor League Baseball experiences and promotions. If this blog was a car then reader-submitted photos would be the gasoline. Of this I am reasonably certain.
Hello, readers. I hope you have enjoyed the in-season content I have rained down upon you over the past several months. It was both an honor and a privilege to be the conduit through whom this information was conveyed.
But, the season is now in its death throes. The long, cold offseason awaits, ready to envelop us all in blackness. The blog will soldier on through the upcoming months, focusing on all the interesting things teams are doing as they prepare for the 2009 campaign.
But for now, let me provide you with the following bit of information, which serves as a perfect bridge between the season that has passed and the season that will be:
“The Altoona Curve’s long-planned and well-publicized “Salute to Procrastination Night” has been pushed back to the 2009 season…The Curve will now have seven months to plan the details of a 2009 incarnation of the promotion.”
And, Remember: Any and all info regarding Minor League promotions and game operations is always appreciated. Email me at email@example.com
Astute readers will remember that this is not the first time that this has happened. For those too lazy to expend the energy necessary to click on the above links, here’s a quote from the Curve’s most recent press release:
“We still have 38 more days until the end of the season so
there’s no need to worry because there’s still plenty of time to get Salute to
Procrastination Night planned,” said Curve General Manager Todd Parnell. “38
days is still a long time away… I mean if you break it down you could play one
World Cup, four World Series, nine U.S. Open Golf Tournaments and 38 Super Bowls
during that period. When the time comes we’ll lock ourselves in a room, turn off
all televisions and radios, drink lots of coffee, and pull an all-nighter to
come up with a promotion which will be just good enough for us to earn a passing
grade from our fans.”
Fortunately, the Curve have staged plenty of other promotions in a timely fashion. One of the most recent was their “Please Come to Altoona, Will Ferrell” extravaganza, which was held this past Monday. In order to entice the portly comedic superstar to make a visit to Blair County Ballpark, the Curve put together the following package:
–A $716.67 appearance fee (based on his birth date of
–A ride to and from the Blair County Airport in mascot
Steamer’s Mini Van
–Two (2) Diamond Club Tickets to the game of his choice and
the opportunity to throw out a ceremonial first pitch
–The opportunity to host the “Curve Game Day Show” in the
character of “Ron Burgandy” from Anchorman
–An opportunity to broadcast one inning of the Curve game on
radio (Ferrell attended USC in hopes of becoming a sports broadcaster)
–One Curve Burger and a small fountain drink
–A Curve hat from the ballpark’s Lost and Found
–A round of golf for he and sidekick John C. Reilly on the
Moon with Tiger Woods, as he demanded during Sunday’s telecast of the ESPY
Awards on ESPN (The only caveat is that the Curve still are awaiting word from
Woods on “Please Come to Altoona Tiger Woods Night”, which was quietly announced
earlier in the season)
The Curve have not yet received a response from Ferrell, but that’s probably because he has been procrastinating.