Last week’s “Promotion Preview” column included the following, which I have edited somewhat in order to avoid seeing my bad jokes for a second time:
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (Midwest League)
Salute to Cows, June 4
Wisconsinites are serious about their docile domesticated land mammals, as evidenced by the extravaganza that is Thursday’s “Salute To Cows.” The night’s on-field contests promise to be exceptionally entertaining, as fans will vie to see who is the best milk chugger, beef eater and moo-er (these sort of things demand to be documented for posterity).
Contest winners receive a year’s supply of cheese curds, which in Wisconsin are worth their weight in gold. A costumed cow is scheduled to throw out the first pitch, and all player head shots on the videoboard will feature milk mustaches. In short, this will be “udderly” amazing.
Due to the inexorable passage of time, June 4 has came and went. Fortunately for all involved, the events of that evening have been well-documented by Timber Rattlers announcer and blogger extraordinaire Chris Mehring. What follows is a photo-heavy look at the brilliance that was the Timber Rattlers’ “Salute to Cows.”
One of the premier between-inning events that night was the Milk Chug. I like to call this picture “Goldilocks, the Three Bros, and a Costumed Snake” (I’m not sure who won, but I definitely would have rooted for the guy who took the time to put on a bib).
1. A contestant is blindfolded by our mascot Fang and ready to tip a cow.
2. The cow awaits tipping.
3. The cow is tipped.
He goes on to add “If you live in Wisconsin, you get it. If you don’t live in Wisconsin, you’ll never get it.”
But what I don’t get, Chris, is why the cow isn’t tipped over in the third picture. It looks to me like the tables were turned, and the “tipper” became the “tippee.” Observe:
I will close with what may be my favorite photo thus far this season. I’ll let Mehring set the scene:
“When there’s a year’s supply of cheese curds on the line, one must moooooo from one’s soul. And the gentleman on the left is about to mooooooo like he’s never moooooooed before.”
Meanwhile, in the background, a human dressed as a snake dressed as a cow gives a shoulder rub to a human dressed as a cow. Just another day at the ballpark, in other words.
And — hey you! — do me a favor and get in touch. Be you fan, front office member, or (best case scenario) moneyed media mogul captivated by my mastery of a niche subject, I want to hear from you.
Apologies for being so back-logged on the blog, as well. Thanks to those who have sent me stuff, and are patiently waiting for it to appear on this hallowed sliver of the blogosphere.
In the meantime, read the latest “Promotion Preview.”
Today has been a busy day here at MiLB.com HQ.
We are so busy here that there is no time to say “headquarters”. Unless, of course, one is referencing how busy it is, and needs to say “headquarters” in order to illustrate the fact that there is no time in which to say it.
But that is neither here nor there. What is “here” and “there” is “this”:
Chris Mehring, Wisconsin Timber Rattlers announcer and blogger extraordinaire, has sent me a pic of the very unique bobblehead his club will be giving away on Opening Day. This fine item commemorates the Timber Rattlers’ new affiliation with the Milwaukee Brewers:
For those who aren’t visually oriented, let me explain — The hearty blonde man on the left is Bernie, the Brewers’ mascot. He symbolizes Milwaukee’s Major League franchise. On the right is Fang, the Timber Rattlers’ mascot. He symbolizes the Midwest League team of Appleton, WI. The handshake symbolizes the new relationship between the clubs, with the dual thumbs up indicating that both entities are truly happy with the arrangement.
Still confused? If so, email me. I’ll break it down even further.
Correct me if I’m wrong (please!), but I believe that this is the first bobblehead of its kind. Hopefully there will be more like it in the near future, in which new affiliations are commemorated in bobble form. For instance, Buffalo could give away a bobblehead featuring Buster T. Bison shaking hands with Mr. Met. Or Columbus could distribute a doll featuring Clippers mascot LouSeal alongside Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians.
Or the Las Vegas 51s and Washington Nationals could create a doll featuring two mascots eyeing each other warily. They are obviously not too keen on one another, and now must resign themselves to making the best of an unideal situation.
I’ve been there too, guys. I’ve been there too.