On Saturday, August 16, a Mascot Showdown for the ages took place at Fresno’s Chukchansi Park, as the Grizzlies’ own Parker went head-to-head with the legendary Phillie Phanatic in a battle for costumed character supremacy.
In anticipation of this momentous event, I wrote a preview detailing what fans could expect from the evening. Now, it is time for the review.
Bradley Collins, the Grizzlies Director of Mascot Relations and Parker’s best friend, was kind enough to provide me with a recap of what took place. All photos contained therein are courtesy of Don Davis, whose work can be viewed at dadphoto.com.
Parker, then the Phanatic. The rest of pre-game was a great mix of improv,
messing with umpires, shining Andruw Jones’ head and the highlight may have
been when we did an ATV stare down near the centerfield gate (Parker and
Phanatic drove at each other full speed narrowly missing each
break followed by a Squirt Gun duel in End 3. Parker and the Phanatic started
off back to back, took 5 paces and then proceeded to squirt our on-field MC and
everyone near the dugout.”
and seduced the first base umpire to Alicia Keys’ “In and Out of Love”, then
Parker followed suit and seduced the umpire to “Let’s Get It On”. Apparently
the Phanatic was a bit more attractive in drag as the umpire wound up kissing
the Phanatic instead of Parker.“
had to cross the Balance Beam of Greatness to be awarded the title “Best Mascot
in Baseball”. While Olympic fanfare played over the speakers, the Phanatic
slowly but surely crossed the Balance Beam of Greatness. Then it was Parker’s
turn. Dressed in his tutu, Parker managed to make it half-way across the Balance
Beam of Greatness and was then distracted by the Phanatic, who flashed him. This caused Parker to fall and hit his groin on the Balance Beam, signaling the
crowd to sound out “OOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.
followed promptly by a round of boos from the hometown fans, so the
Phanatic graciously gave the award to Parker to cease the booing. So
technically the Phanatic retained the title, but Parker gave him a legitimate
run for his money.”
So there you have it, folks. The Phanatic remains the best mascot in all of baseball. BUT FOR HOW LONG? Parker is down, but certainly not out…