Tagged: Snoop Dogg

June 14, 2010

In Which Racing Babies Foretell the Future of Sport

The World Cup has captured the sporting attention of the entire globe, even gaining some traction in the famously soccer-indifferent United States.

And in these United States, the focus is on the countries competing in “Group C”: Algeria, England, Slovenia, and, of course, the U.S.

The Trenton Thunder, cutting-edge prognosticators that they are, held an on-field Baby Race in order to predict the Group C results. The four infant competitors, each representing one of the countries, had to crawl 10 feet toward a wildly gesticulating parent.

And is it any surprise that Baby USA emerged victorious? USA is the greatest! Join me in jingoistic fervor by watching this riveting video:

I mean, seriously, it wasn’t even close. But respect to all the other competitors, who continued to race even as Baby USA celebrated his victory by attempting to eat a microphone.

The final results:

1. USA (Alexander Dowling, 12 months)

2. Slovenia (Logan Mushinski, nine months)

3. Algeria (Kyle O’Donnell, nine months)

4. England (Eva Munoz, nine months)

The Thunder have posted a bevy of pictures on their website. I enjoy this one, as it shows the wide range of objects that can be used to lure racing babies toward an imaginary finish line.

Baby USA was awarded with a team-autographed soccer ball, but was totally unimpressed:

Before wrapping this up, I’d like to mention that “Wingstock” took place at West Michigan’s Fifth Third Ballpark this weekend. The music festival featured the truly unbeatable 1-2 combo of Jackyl and Snoop Dogg. Fans of shirtless chainsaw-wielding should click HERE for a local news report, and those desiring to see Snoop in action can do so via a variety of YouTube videos (search “Wingstock Snoop Dogg”). I’d love to post them here, but they contain objectionable language and as such would contrast with this post’s otherwise family-friendly content.

And, hey, speaking of concerts at Minor League ballparks — Alice Cooper will be appearing at Classic Park in Lake County on September 3! It would be quite depressing to hear him play “School’s Out” so late in the summer; hopefully he’ll replace that in the set list with some deep cuts off of “DaDa“.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com

twitter.com/bensbiz

March 23, 2010

Snoop, Yoopers, and Declarations of Indigestion

I’ve got a lot of West Michigan Whitecap news for you today. Like the Fifth Third Burger, it might take a while to digest. But, unlike the Fifth Third Burger, you won’t regret attempting to consume it one sitting.

You remember the aforementioned Fifth Third Burger, don’t you? The massive meat patty made international headlines last year (really), elevating the Whitecaps to Minor League concession stand royalty. The team knew they had their work cut out for them when it came to a 2010 follow-up, so, naturally, they turned to the fans for suggestions. 10 foodstuff finalists were chosen, with an online vote determining which would be served at the ballpark this season.

23,000 total votes were tallied, resulting in what the team describes as “the tightest race in food voting history.” It was so close that a virtual tie was declared, meaning that both the Cudhigi Yooper Sandwich (6,984 votes) and the Declaration of Indigestion (6,982 votes) will be available for fan consumption.

“We didn’t want a Bush vs. Gore in Florida situation, so we went with both”, explained Whitecaps director of marketing and media Mickey Graham.

The Cudhigi Yooper

For those not “in the know”, “Yoopers” are people who live in Michigan’s upper peninsula region. “Cudhigi” is a famous brand of sausage that emanates from said region. Put these two foreign-sounding words together, and you end up with a sandwich that consists of a sausage patty slathered with cheese, pizza sauce, peppers, and onions.

The Declaration of Indigestion

“When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to disband from the tyranny of healthful eating, they should consume the Declaration of Indigestion,” reads the Whitecaps press release.

Such patriotic and flowery rhetoric probably brought a tear to your eye, so wipe it away and then check this out: a half-pound foot long hot dog covered with steak, cheese, pepper, and onions and served on an colossally-sized roll:

The only other item to fare respectably in the vote total was Chocolate Covered Bacon, which garnered an impressive 27% en route to establishing itself as a 2011 front runner. What follows are the overall vote totals, complete with helpful visuals (click to enlarge):

In case the above text is too small for your non-laser vision enhanced eyes to read: Chocolate Covered Bacon (27%), Chili Mac Taco (9%), Corn Dog (2%), Idaho Christmas Tree (1%), Poutine (1%), Twinkie Cheese Dog (1%), Chicken and Waffles (1%), Pink Panther (0%)

As if all of the above info wasn’t enough, the Whitecaps announced that the following items would also be added to concession stand menus in 2010: potato wedges, sweet potato fries, onion rings, Texas steak nachos, garlic & cheese breadsticks, Texas toast barbeque sandwiches, corn dogs, Italian grinders, boneless Buffalo wings, chocolate-covered cheesecake, fried ice cream and funnel fries.

And don’t worry — the Fifth Third Burger isn’t going anywhere.

“We’ll never get rid of it, thanks to you guys,” said Graham, with “you guys” in this case referring to the large hamburger-obsessed media. (How’s that for a sandwich? The fourth estate loves the Fifth Third).

And now I can finally get to my next piece of Whitecap news, which is tangentially related to the food and beverage beat: The inaugural “Wingstock” festival will be held at Fifth Third Field on June 12, and the headliner is none other than Snoop Dogg! To my knowledge, this is the first time that the legendary rapper has played at a Minor League stadium since he captivated Brooklyn’s KeySpan Park (now MCU Park) in 2008. I sincerely hope this is the beginning of a Minor League Snoop golden age.

In one of the most deeply idiosyncratic musical billings the world has ever seen, Snoop’s support act on this evening of chicken wing-fueled mayhem will be…

wait for it…

Jackyl. A band best known for its lead singer’s chainsaw prowess.

To summarize: An iconic West Coast rapper and an AC/DC-inspired chainsaw Southern rock band playing a wing festival held at a Minor League Baseball stadium in Michigan.

This is quite possibly the most American event of all time.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com
twitter.com/bensbiz