It is a slow day in the world of Minor League news, to the extent that I was considering not even doing a blog post.

But then fate (or, more accurately, Twitter) intervened. For the Gwinnett Braves have just released the following video, one seductive in its sensuality (or would that be sensual in its seductiveness?) Observe:

In all honesty, Chopper looks to be a little too good at his job. I would be a bit wary of hiring him to deliver a Valentine’s Day present, out of fear that his charm and confidence would further illuminate my already glaring flaws and insecurites. Standing there before my (theoretical) sweetheart, he would serve as a living (albeit costumed) embodiment of all that I can never be.

But who has time for romance anyway? In what has become a tradition of sorts, I plan to spend Valentine’s Day writing impassioned message board editorials on how Switzerland’s Large Hadron Collider will create a world-consuming black hole, resulting in the obliteration of all matter as well as consciousness itself.

But that’s neither here nor there. Minor League mascot Valentine’s Day delivery services have become a time-honored offseason promotion, and something that I have written about extensively in the past. I will certainly be making note of these initiatives on this blog as well as my Promotion Preview column, so please get in touch if you are aware of endeavors similar to what is going on in Gwinnett County.

Remember — What better way to say ‘I Love You’ than the gift of a spatula than by having a Minor League mascot personally deliver 2010 game tickets?

benjamin.hill@mlb.com
twitter.com/bensbiz