Tagged: tree hugging

The Truth Is No Longer Inconvenient

dday.jpgAl Gore is currently recognized as our nation’s preeminent authority on global warming and alternative energy sources, but that won’t be the case for much longer.

For while Al and his likeminded cronies are merely talking about should be done, others are out there doing it. And the most innovative of these individuals is undoubtedly Abner, the mascot of the New York Penn League’s Auburn Doubledays.

You see, when it comes to combating the scourge of global warming, Abner has a Plan. With the help of the Doubledays’ front office, this three-pronged initiative was put into action on September 1. Here’s a write-up of this momentous event, from my final “Promotion Preview” column of the season:

“First, 150 pinwheels will be given away, in order to harness the energy
of the wind. Then, the club will offer baked beans at the concession
stand, in order to increase natural gas output. Finally, ‘human-hydro
power’ will be utilized when the team’s staff leads fans in the wave.
From the club’s press release: ‘The wind created by the standing and
sitting of the fans will make the pinwheels handed out earlier spin and
then a renewable energy system will be created.'”

Doubledays GM Carl Gutelius reports that Abner’s Plan was “a complete success”, and has been kind enough to provide the vast Ben’s Biz Blog readership with several photos of this groundbreaking promotion.

Here, Abner investigates a heretofore overlooked source of natural gas: The Umpire.

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Meanwhile, members of the Doubledays’ “Green Team” made sure that the pinwheels were strategically positioned in order to receive the maximum amount of “human-hydro power.”

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In keeping with the theme of the evening, a “tree-hugging” race was staged between innings:

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And, in order to save gasoline, the Doubledays’ “Rally Tractor” was replaced with a Radio Flyer:

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I have only scratched the surface regarding the ecological innovations that the Doubledays put into practice on this groundbreaking evening. Congratulations to the team for solving one of the 21st century’s most dire problems over the course of nine innings at the ballpark.