On the Road: All Shucks, No Jive in Cedar Rapids
To see all of my posts from my May 27, 2015 visit to the Cedar Rapids Kernels (this is Part Two) click HERE. To see all of the posts from my May 2015 trip through the Midwest, click HERE. To see ALL of my “On the Road” posts (going back to 2010), click HERE.
When the previous post in this series had concluded, a ballgame had just begun in Cedar Rapids. Mr. Shucks, Kernels mascot extraordinaire, was overjoyed at the sight of players on the field. He always is.
I spent the first several innings of the game with one Tim Mullin, who served as my “designated eater.” We’ll get to Tim in a separate post, but here’s a sneak peak of who we’ll be dealing with.
The Fish Fling is pretty simple. I, as the contestant, would hold the net, and the fish would then be “flung” in my general direction via a slingshot. I was told that if I caught three fish in a row I’d become the inaugural member of the Fish Fling Hall of Fame, and that no one had yet earned these aquatic accolades because this game is harder than it looks. The fish, when in the air, vacillate wildly like the fish out of water that they are. Their aerial path from slingshot to net is unpredictable at best.
My camera and phone were handed off to members of the Kernel promo team, who amused themselves accordingly.
The first shot….
So close, and yet so far. When the contest began I could smell, however faintly, the sweet notes of success wafting through the air. But in the end, I was yet again overwhelmed with the pungent funk of failure. (Or maybe that was just the fish?)
A defeated man in a wrinkled shirt, making the best of a deeply disappointing situation.
My next stop was the Cedar Rapids Kernels’ clubhouse, which is inhabited (literally) by legendary 71-year-old clubhouse manager Ron “Roady” Plein. Here’s Roady standing in front of his in-stadium apartment, which is located directly next to the laundry room.
For the full-lowdown on Roady, please refer to my MiLB.com story. This story also includes the perspective of Roady’s “protege,” 56-year-old clubhouse managing rookie Eric Oliver.
While I was in the home clubhouse, each of the two Kernels players who passed through immediately identified me as “The Fish Guy” and remarked how entertaining my on-field failure had been to those in the dugout. Guess that’s gotta count for something.
Anyhow, after exiting the clubhouse the first thing that I saw was the Tooth Fairy. Just another night in Minor League Baseball.
While in the Hawk’s Nest, I came face to face with the “Roady” bobblehead. Roady’s on the right, while on the left is a bobblehead honoring long-time bat boy “Jon-Jon” Teig.
It was that kind of night. Nothing much left to do but make a groundbreaking and subversive joke.
Your groundbreaking and subversive ballpark joke of the day. https://t.co/MXvz0aOk8o
— Benjamin Hill (@bensbiz) May 28, 2015
Further hallway explorations revealed this “Kernels Quilt,” designed by JoAnn Nelson (wife of former general manager Doug Nelson) and stitched by Jeannie Ellers of Guttenberg, Iowa.
But, really, there’s no need to thank me. It was my pleasure.